And… Action

This week has been eventful for all the right reasons. I did something I never envisioned myself doing once upon a time. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity I had and for the future opportunities I have in place to open up new possibilities for myself.

The opportunity I’m talking about, is delivering a presentation on the topic of neurodiversity in the workplace, and how we can create the best environments for neurodivergent talent to thrive.

I’m just one of many neurodivergent individuals who have an array of skills to offer. But one of those things that isn’t part of the job description, at least for me, is being an actor.

Allow me to explain: it takes me a long time to get out of my head what I want to say. A lot of the time, the words might not make sense. It might sound like a completely different language, even though I’m communicating in English, to people who either speak or understand English. But this is all part of the show- looking the part and being mistaken for someone who is a “communication aficionado.”

It was a huge moment, having any number of people fixated on me for any length of time. Beforehand, I had this sort of mental image of TEDx speakers and them just seeming to speak from the heart. But, as I have now learnt, this isn’t the case. What they are saying comes from something that is rehearsed, or at least to a large degree. This kind of autocue, may well follow these speakers to many places. But I want to put my own take on it, and adapt my presentations so that I aren’t just saying exactly the same thing. I want to be able to speak from the heart without awkward silences. But I want to beat a Formula 1 driver in a race. The only way that’s happening is if who riding along in a tricycle and I zoom past in a go-kart (something I can actually drive, and not just on Mario Kart 😉)

For me though, the formation of this confident image I put a lot of energy into portraying, it becomes a learned thing. I feel myself asking the question: shall I go out there and ask organisations myself if I can go there and present to them?

Those that know me will know full well that I’m very much an all or nothing kind of individual. I either talk a lot or not at all. Sometimes, it feels like what I’m saying is rehearsed, just like an actor or actress rehearses lines. But it’s not easy. I stumble over words a fair bit. Even with prompts to help me understand the point I’m trying to make- it doesn’t end with me on the point. I go from A to Z back to B to C to S. You get the idea.

Picture a neurodivergent individual going into a shop. This could be any shop, whether it’s a gift shop for special occasions, a DIY store, a sofa specialists, a supermarket, even a hair salon or barbers. These places can be incredibly difficult to be if you are neurodivergent, because you have to find a new character to play. Again, acting. This time, it would be almost like you’re a quiz show host. Where can I find this? What would this look like? Does this suit me? Can I get this product in this colour? The list goes on. In fact it would be more like that 20Q electronic game I played as a kid. The memories!

On the point of acting actually, is that one of the very successful actors, Leonardo Di Caprio, has something in common. We both have widow’s peaks. Yet I didn’t even know this until now. And when it comes to experiences having my hair cut, I have no idea what to say. Whereabouts is my widow’s peak? It certainly doesn’t look like the average I have seen. And what direction do I comb my hair to style it the way I want to. Apparently my hair has a mind of its own. It wants to grow in 3 different directions. Left, straight and right. I’ve been told that my hairstyle looks disconnected and very square, or at least eventually when it grows out over 5-6 weeks. But I’m acting now like I know what I’m talking about. Of course I don’t!

I’ve been used to incorporating the look that I want since the age of 17, which was the point I was like, sure, I’d like to have a bit of style about what I look like. I do want to look as confident as other people my age. So if I said to a hairstylist, this is what has been identified from photos of me and from me analysing the shape of my face via an app on my phone. But then I’d have to be more pleased with the outcome than what I currently am. I haven’t got a clue though, because I don’t know anyone in a similar scenario to me in that regard, and I have no photos to show for reference.

What I’m trying to say is, it is so difficult for people with additional challenges to present confidently in everyday environments. This isn’t a dig at neurotypical people, but the activities that they do day to day, take much less energy than that required by neurodivergent individuals or people with any other disabilities.

Whilst I may have looked like I was confident on stage, and there’s no denying from my point that I can become that… I was acting. Just as much as the average chap who could walk into his local barbers and barely needs to say a word during consultation, or a couple who go out to a restaurant and both order a steak, brought out to them cooked to their liking. Take a second to visualise how challenging this may be for a neurodivergent individual. Underneath all of this anxiety and different character portrayals, are individuals who are doing everything to open the world’s eyes to the whole package of a neurodivergent individual.

My presentation was just one example of a special moment, where despite my worries about how engaging it was and how many questions I would be asked in the aftermath, I was greeted with applause and many lovely comments. And the audience were actively interested to learn not only more about myself, but about what the best practice looks like in removing the barriers for people with particularly hidden differences.

If you show the attitude that my audience showed, you will not go far wrong at all. Above all else, a much greater bond can be shared amongst people of all different profiles.