When you’re creating something, building a house, creating a work of art of some kind… The overall plan has to start somewhere.
It often includes lots of things you don’t really perhaps think about at the time. This certainly applies to me, anyway.
I could very often be described as someone who’d run before they could walk or either fall behind because of being unaware of what the pieces of the puzzle essentially are.
My nose is often pressed too close to the canvas so to speak. I often strive to find what the bigger picture is… But don’t necessarily see it straight away.
There are goals and aspirations I have to do certain things and sometimes I get I guess, unintentionally giddy about certain things thinking it could lead to something quite easily. I guess one has to break a pessimistic approach to life eventually even though it’s a little naïve. I’m still young (whatever that’s classes as these days) and I’m still learning. Nobody ever stops learning.
When I talk about building blocks, I think about things such as confidence, interpersonal skills (which could fall under the confidence category), experience, ability to adapt, planning and a variety of other things. These are just off the top of my head.
It’s a bit like a pyramid. You’ve got the key aspect of what you’re aiming for at the top and all the smaller pieces that link to it that create that bigger picture.
For a while I’ve had this feeling that I wish I could find a way to fuse excitement and pressure. Because these are 2 emotions, if you can call them that, which are a regular thing for me. I’m excited to meet new people (I think), and with these things admittedly comes a pressure. That million dollar question “how will I fit in?”
I guess one could say you just kind of make a place your own so to speak. A place or environment is what you make of it. You just be you, do what you need to do and treat people the way you would want to be treated. But being Dyspraxic is a lot more than that. All these thoughts do arise for sure but when you’re new somewhere and don’t feel particularly confident in expressing yourself to the fullest, I feel that the true authenticity is lost. But that can definitely be found again with time.
As confused as my mind gets at times, what is for certain is that with learning new things, trying new things to see what fits, I will gain a lot more awareness of where the right place is, who the right people are and how I can show myself, just like everyone else should be able to show… Their true, authentic self.